no more excuses

So I was sat in work today thinking about how I wanted to write a blog post tonight. I was having a little ponder about what my topic should be. And then I remembered how I had thought earlier that I really wanted to do some yoga tonight too. I’ve been avoiding the mat for weeks now. So now I’m stressing about how I won’t have enough time for both and which will get bumped. And oh, I wanted to finish my book too. But that’s like a hundred fifty pages and I’m not a quick reader. I need to make tea as well. I need to prepare tomorrow’s lunch and snacks as well, which won’t take too long since I’ve been trying this meal prep malarkey recently, but it still needs to get done. I’ve been really trying to give meditation a go as well but each time I lose my streak on Calm it doesn’t encourage me to do better it disheartens me. And when am I actually going to write this novel? And what will the novel even be about? I’ve wanted to get a bath for months to try out some Lush bath bombs my mate got me at Christmas but that will require cleaning the bath out so who’s got the time? Also if the yoga is particularly vigorous then I’ll end up having to wash my hair anyway so shall I just shower? And like, where’s my mindless Netflix time too? I’m only two episodes into the new Queer Eye cos I’m just not emotionally ready. And now I’m trying to watch all of Game of Thrones before the new season so I can actually talk to my mates about it. Shall I just spend all night doing that instead? It doesn’t really require any brain power.

Then I fast forwarded to me closing my eyes tonight and spoiler: I did nothing but lie around watching GoT and stupid Youtube videos about what’s in my bag.

So I sat there, back in work, thinking two things. One, damn. I overthink things and also internally moan a lot. Two, I figure I can sit here and let this be my life, because believe me, it has been for years. OR I could get up off my ass and actually do something with my time. Yeah, maybe I won’t get all that done today. I have a bad habit of having an insanely productive evening but then burning out and not doing anything for a month. I don’t want to be me looking back a month from now thinking, what was the point in that post? You didn’t change. I want this to keep me accountable. I want to tell you in a month how I’ve been revolutionising my evenings.

Basically, we’re removing excuses from our lives. Join me. They aren’t our friend. They don’t want us to succeed or be happy or feel inspired. So they’ve got to go. I know you have dreams. We should try and make them a reality otherwise we’ll always be thinking of tomorrow. Live now. Take each day with a pinch of salt. If you stumble, dust yourself off and try again the next day. This is a journey, not really a concrete destination. We’ll always be growing and evolving and prioritising different goals and ambitions. But we have to get up and start somewhere. I want to lie down at the end of every night and think yeah, I’m pretty happy with my day. I worked on my self-care and my personal development and I had fun too. You won’t be able to do everything every day. Again, that’s definitely okay.

Just do what you can, right now. Just don’t do nothing.

So today, I’m gonna post this article and I’m gonna join Adriene on the mat. I’m also going to cosy up with my book.

You do your version.

Report back in a month!

When The Party’s Over – Kina Grannis

the book buying ban: pt.2 + conclusion

I promised last week to update you on my 2018 book buying ban so here’s part two and the conclusion!

If you remember, my last update was June and I’d bought five books so far. That still left seven to play with to keep under my one a month goal. So for the remaining six months of 2018 I bought SEVEN books! I actually did it! I only purchased twelve books in an entire year. I’m as surprised as you. And I’m bloody happy with myself. Let’s get to the books:

Oxfam, Liverpool

I’d literally been avoiding this shop all year because I always find excellent books there and I didn’t want to be tempted. But it got to August and I had a few minutes whilst I waited for a couple of friends and I just figured yeah, I could buy a book. So I bought two.

Hot Milk – Deborah Levy: I’ve heard this one floating round the internet so decided to pick it up.

Trumpet – Jackie Kay: I read this in uni and absolutely loved it. I got it from the library though so decided to grab my own copy and do a reread soon.

Oxfam Books, Dublin & Secret Bookshop, Dublin

Fast forward to September and I found myself (as I do many times a year) in Dublin. It would have been rude not to go to my two favourite bookshops. Don’t you think? Oxfam Books is self-explanatory, it’s an Oxfam shop completely stocked with books. Always an amazing second hand find here! The Secret Bookshop is one we stumbled across a few years ago and now always find time for. Walking down a small corridor you find yourself in a basement-type treasure trove filled to the brim with new and used books. There’s even a record shop at the bottom. Could spend hours in here, definitely one to check out.

Paradise – Toni Morrison: I’ve loved everything I’ve ever read my Morrison so this seemed like a natural pick. I also knew this was part of a trilogy beginning with Beloved which I already own so I figured it couldn’t hurt to own the third one before the second, haha.

China Men – Maxine Hong Kingston: I read The Woman Warrior in uni and I thought it was so fascinating. I’d never read a Chinese American voice before and loved Kingston’s. I’ve never heard of this book but thought it sounded great.

The Divided Self – R.D. Laing: This I’ve vaguely heard of but I read the back and thought it sounds really interesting so picked it up.

Bookstop, Ennis

Since I apparently spend my whole life in Ireland, you shouldn’t be surprised to discover I was there in October as well. Oops. This time we were on the west coast in County Clare. We always make a trip to Ennis town if only to fill our hunger for a Supermacs veggie burger. But we were having a wander and found this bookshop we’d never seen before. Was a nice little second hand store with a great selection.

Everything I Never Told You – Celeste Ng: I’d literally just finished reading Little Fires Everywhere a couple of days earlier on our trip. So when I saw Ng’s first novel I had to buy it instantly.

Amazon (I know, I’m horrible)

I’m a traitor. Bar Kindle books, I haven’t purchased a book from amazon in about eighteen months. I don’t like what they’re doing to the book world but I just couldn’t find this book anywhere else. Please forgive me.

Catcher – Kalyn Nicholson: I’ve been following Kalyn on Youtube for a few years now and I just really like what she’s all about. This is her first book and a novel no less! I had to see what it was all about.

So in conclusion, the book buying band seemed to work a treat. It forced me to read books I already own and it helped me to slowly decrease my physical TBR. However, I wanted to do something different in 2019. A lot of the unread books I own are classics or books from the mid-20th century or earlier that, let’s face it, aren’t going anywhere. So I plan to read them slowly til they’re all complete. I’m still excited to read them all. But I didn’t want to be restricted to read a book that’s out right now and relevant just because I had bought all my books for the year. But I also didn’t want to go back to overbuying because that’s how I originally got into this mess! However, drunk at four in the morning on Christmas Day my brother cracked it. He said why don’t you stick to twelve books but every time you read one of them you gain it back. So it’s like a rolling twelve books. I thought about it for a second and realised, whoa, what a genius idea! So that’s what we’re doing! This year so far I’ve bought nine books (I know, the freedom got to me a little there!) but I’ve read three of them already so I’m back down to six books purchased. Get it? I’m excited to see where the reading year takes me. What does yours look like?

Happy reading!

re:stacks – Bon Iver

Silence.

So I’m starting a poem project. It may turn into the 100 Poem Challenge but let’s be real, that will never happen in one hundred consecutive days in my world. There’s no rules. Let’s go.

Silence

I wonder why people hate
it so much, prefer the sound
of their moans, problems, idiocies.
Always competing.
Shouting to be heard whilst ignoring
each other.
They think we’re lonely,
but we hear. We can feel their
voices dripped in isolation, desperation.
Craving approval.
Silence. They find it so loud
where we feel peace, tranquility.
My words mean something
where their’s pale in significance,
the sheer quantity of speech.
Endlessly left wanting,
where us, the introverts, enjoy
the silence. We are free.

-sarahwilliamsandco

Ever So Shy – General Fiasco