Category: non fiction

In defence of my 9-5

Found this in my drafts from May 2021 but it all still resonates so thought I’d post. Why didn’t I post it back then? I think we all damn know why. (I’m aware I’m twentynine now, thank you. But I’m not editing it.)

I’ve always described myself as someone with good intentions but no follow through. Like if people came with taglines, this would be mine. I don’t know when I became this person. I think when I was younger I was quite driven but now I kinda just float along. And I’m totally okay with that. I enjoy it. Or I wouldn’t do it. I like life being easy and relaxed and stress-free. That’s not to say my life is those things all the time, I wish. But I try not to invite more stress into my life. I live in a way that minimises stress and drama because I just don’t care for it. I despise conflict. If we’re not on this earth-shaped playground for this tiny amount of time to have fun and make meaningful connections and have adventures then why are we here? It can’t just be bills and rent and then we die. I refuse to live that way. But I think along the way I’ve sacrificed a lot of ambition in exchange for a calmer existence. I work jobs that don’t require my brain and don’t challenge me. But I’m not motivated by money or the cutthroat career culture that exists in so many fields today. I also, at twentyseven, have no idea what I want my ‘career’ to even be. Why do we need a career anyway? We’re brainwashed into that at an early age. But what’s wrong with just working a job? There’s a lot to be said about a 9-5 that you forget the minute you walk out the office door. No work-based stress follows me home, no one expects anything from me once I clock out, and I’m free to enjoy my evening or weekend however I like. There is zero pressure. Now this isn’t to say that careers aren’t flipping great. Don’t get me wrong. I know a lot of people killing it in their field and loving their work. But since finishing uni, I’ve been asked so many times ‘what I’m doing’. What does that even mean? It means people feel sorry for you or pity you if you ‘just’ work a desk job. But I’m not embarrassed of my job, it facilitates my lifestyle in many more ways than just financial. (Also it’s a good job. White collar bullshit. I’m privileged to have my job, believe me, I do not take that for granted. It’s cushy as shit.) And it’s not like the people I love mean any harm when they enquire on your life goals. They’re just interested. They want the best for you, they want you to be happy. But I think we live in a world where we focus on far too much of our happiness coming from work. Should it not come from every other single thing going on in your life besides work? Or at least as well as. I don’t know, I also know a lot of people who are just figuring out what they want to do or just pay the bills. And I wanna normalise that in this weird millennial-burnout-sidehustle-beyourownboss environment we’re living in it’s okay to be the Chandler of the group.

Yeah, this isn’t the blog post I came here to write. But I got so distracted by the first line that I wrote and here’s where the tangent has taken us. And I kinda like it so I’m just gonna go with it. What I was actually gonna write was about how much I lie so much about making these blog posts regular. But like it’s been two almost blogless months and I’m crawling back with my tail between my legs. But hey, we can save that for ~~next week~~ two years from now.

Hilariously, I did save this for two years later. Guess the other topic is just gonna have to keep waiting..

Hope you’re having a wonderful Tuesday. Do something to make yourself smile today.

This Is What I Mean – Stormzy

January 10, 2023

9-5, 9to5, calm, hustleculture, slowdown, worklifebalance
twentytwentythree

It’s twentytwentythree, bitches. Who’s ready for another round then?

I think the idea of denial is fascinating. Because I don’t know about you, but from my little viewpoint this world is getting rougher and bleaker every year. The world’s on fire, we’re exhausted, run down and losing the will. Yet come January I’m out here with my new year’s blinkers on acting like life’s a peach and that this new year is going to be spectacular. That’s impressive denial I’d say.

It’s interesting cos in the past I’d say that wild optimism came from the allure of possibility that a new year holds. Now? Now I think we’re all just thinking surellllly it can’t get worse. Right?

Haha. But you know what? There’s way too much fucking doom and gloom out there. And I get it, it’s warranted, I feel it. But it also drags you down. And I like my little corner of the internet to be a place where you can go for some respite. A little relax. Maybe a giggle. I want you to fill your cup. So we’re gonna blindly focus on the blind optimism. Who’s gonna stop me! Drunk on power.

So like what is there even to be excited about you might ask? It’s troubling that my advice for this year is weirdly similar to the covid years, but it fits for different reasons now. This year, focus on what you can control. There’s so much already to worry about, groceries cost fifteen grand these days. Like we cannot change that, so we can’t obsess about it. We can do the best we can and the rest will happen. It’s scary, I won’t deny you that. But I don’t want you to spend your next year as an edgy ball of stress. I want you to focus instead on what you can control. Say it with me. What. We. Can. Control.

What does that look like? Dude, I don’t know you. It could look like whatever the hell makes your soul sing. For me it’s drinking coffee. It’s listening to the rain outside whilst I read a good book. It’s watching Glass Onion. It’s going for a walk in the park with my partner and judging all the dog owners whilst not being dog owners. It’s baking a cake and torturing my sweet-toothed mate with pictures. It’s slow days on the couch. It’s trips to the theatre. It’s gabbing with my sisters. It’s going to gigs with my brother. It’s three hour phone calls with my nan. It’s building furniture for my dad. Just joking, it’s not that one but I know he’ll get a kick out of that line. Love you, Terry. It’s eating a big bag of crisps. It’s moving my body. Yoga, it’s honestly the way forward. Why am I still trying to convince you people? It’s frozen pizza, it’s always frozen pizza. It’s rearranging my bookshelves. It’s journaling and finding moments of silence. It’s starting a jigsaw with my partner and giving up after two hours cos we’re little bitches. It’s breathing fresh air. It’s staring at the night sky out my bedroom window. It’s letting the sun burn my retinas cos even my retinas are probably Vitamin D deficient. I can only assume. It’s the occasional beer but I’m trying to cut back. It’s dancing round my house like weirdo but it’s joyful. And it’s writing to you guys I hope. Every time I open a new document and sit myself down, the feelings writing gives me all come flooding back. It’s remembering that feeling so I give myself the opportunity to sit down more. It’s so many damn things.

What tangible goals am I setting this year? This too abstract for you? Here you are, I’ll tell ya:

I am goddamn getting a driver’s license, man. I’m twentynine, it’s getting ridiculous. It needs to be done. I don’t even want or need a car. HA. I just want it for that random Sunday morning where we’ve stayed at a mate’s house and my partner is too hungover to drive us home and I’m just sat in a room in the Wirral, hugging my knees to my chest rocking side to side and staring at the wall. Pass me the keys, hun! Also I want to stop getting teased for having a green license, iykyk.

I’m applying for my masters. Yep, it’s happening. I’ve always wanted to do one and I almost did right out of uni but life gets in the way and before you know it your twenties have passed you by and you still don’t even really know what you’re doing with your life. Will a masters fix that? Nah. But you don’t need to know what the fuck you’re doing to enjoy your life. And I enjoy my life. But I want a masters just for me. So we’re getting one. Is that a reckless use of money? Oh surely. But I’m not paying the first loan back anyway so add another!

I’m going to NYC. This is not a goal at all, it’s a flex. I’ve already bought the flights, I’m going. I just wanted to tell you all about it cos I’m ridiculously excited. Can’t wait to pretend I live in Brooklyn for a week. I’m gonna drink so much coffee it’s ungodly. Did someone say new tattoo? Happy to oblige. Bougie yoga class? I’ll be there! Statue of Liberty? Pssh who’s she?

And I reckon that’s it. I like to keep things short and sweet in my old age. I used to set so many goals (all with the best of intentions) but then just hate on myself when I inevitably failed them. But we’re not about that anymore.

Gentle is the way to go.

Be kind to yourself and move slowly. There’s really no rush. There’s no life timeline you need to be checking boxes on. All my mates are getting engaged lately or having babies or getting dogs or getting promotions. And that’s great. I’m so happy for them all, they’re living their best lives. But don’t be fooled into thinking you have to make a cookie cutter life to fit in. Hate dogs? Sound. Think babies are gross? I hear ya. Marriage is patriarchy? Preach. But love your dog more than life itself? Also sound. Think babies are adorable? I can see that. Marriage is a wonderful commitment? Okay. The beautiful thing about life is it’s a choose your own adventure game. Your own adventure. Your own. Yours. (Sorry, did you catch that? Good, just want to make sure.)

So don’t sweat it. However you’re starting your twentytwentythree is miraculous. You just even being here, existing is magic. Give yourself a fucking break. Life is not a race to the grave. It really isn’t. That’s not living, man. And you’re killing it. You really are. So whatever you want this year, I hope you get it. But I also hope you find little pockets of rest for yourself. Moments of silence. Days of reflection. Give gratitude. I’m thankful every day that you’re here, so even on days when you can’t quite believe that, I’ll believe it for you. Stick around. Please.

I hope you have a sublime twentytwentythree. I truly do.

Where Do You Go – Day Wave

January 4, 2023

2023, adventure, amwriting, blogger, goals, life, newyear, newyear’sresolutions, newyears, selfcare, selflove, travel, twentytwentythree, writersofig
Saturday night ramblings

Today has been a great day. Like genuine gold. And I literally worked nine hours of overtime. Make that make sense. But I don’t know, man. That’s just how I’m feeling. It’s just been a day of personal growth. Maybe a bit of long-awaited acceptance. A bit of actually listening to what my body and mind are telling me. Sitting in quiet. But also taking myself on a reading coffee date to the park.

Why today?

Couldn’t fucking tell you. But I’m not gonna say no to a gift dropped in my lap. To insult it by asking. Sometimes I think you don’t even realise you’ve been down til you have a truly sublime day. And your axis just tilts. I don’t know. I just kind of wanted to tell you. I miss you. I hope you’ve had a great day too. If not, that’s okay. We’ll try again tomorrow. And that’s pretty magic.

I know I sound drunk probably. Hasn’t shown up since an obligatory post in March and now pops up out the blue at eleven pm on a Saturday. But I’m actually stone cold sober. And I think that’s what makes this feeling so much more important.

Take care of yourselves.

Young and In Love (Sam de Jong Remix) – Ingrid Michaelson

August 20, 2022

amwriting, blogger, feelinggood, goodvibes, life, selfcare, selflove, writersofig
twentytwentytwo

The fucking audacity of this bitch to be completely non-existent for nine months and then show up with the long-standing annual new year’s post in MARCH with no explanation or excuse. The utter cheek.

Yes, hi, hello, that bitch is me.

How the heck are ya? How is twentytwentytwo treating you? I hope spectacularly. And you know what, if not, that’s okay. We’ve still got nine months to play with here. Is every year of our lives gonna be the best? Of course not. Life is not a fucking straight shot upwards forever until we die. No matter what the kid you were mildly jealous of in high school’s instagram tells you. So don’t put pressure on yourself this year. But also, by the same token. Don’t like admit defeated. I think it’s a shame when people write off a year in June cos well maybe something truly goddamn awful happened to you, or maybe you just had something kinda shit happen. I get it. Believe me, I’ve had those years. Twentyseventeen, looking at you, you bastard. But just don’t admit defeat. You can wish daily that the year will end so you can move into another. I endorse that, mainly. But I also want you to daily believe that something a little magical could happen. Maybe you find a trolly at the supermarket that still has a quid in it. Maybe your mate sends you a sickeningly wholesome instagram post about the beauty of libraries and you cry but like in a good way. Maybe you make a frozen pizza and don’t burn it, cos honestly that’s always a win. These are not big things, people. But on the day you need them they can feel like true , unbridled joy. So I hope you a handful of these days this year. Let’s not be greedy. We’ve SOMEHOW entered into yet another shocking year with covid just being the tip of the iceberg. What are we on now? About seven years of hellfire in a row? Mate, give yourself a pat on the back that you’re even here. You’ve done well to survive.

I bet at the start of this post I tricked you into thinking you were getting a succinct, proof-read, paragraphed piece. You are not. This is a word vomit of a piece if we ever saw one. Will I read it back? Probably not. I think typos are funny. Gotta keep you guys on your toes.

So what are my goals for this year? Well actually, lol, that’s actually a pretty easy one. Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch. I have absolutely no fucking goals this year. For the first time in many years. I love lists and planning and goals. But alas, no! This year, your girl is focussing on one thing. And that is rest. r-e-s-t. REST.

Oh not heard of it? No, I didn’t bloody think you had.

I definitely recommend it though. Try it sometime. Get so relaxed you don’t write your new year’s post for three months. Just kidding, we all absolutely know that was laziness. But honestly. Give it a go. How? Okay, as always, start simply. Think about the things in your life that are causing you stress, panic, pressure. We can’t control absolutely all of these unfortunately. Figure out which ones you can. How many of them are you getting in your own way? How many are the result of your best but overambitious intentions? And how many can we say goodbye to?

You know I like to help you out so I’ll give you some of my own examples. I no longer shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, move from the couch, read books, interact with humans. No I’m just kidding. Although does that sounds like wfh to anyone? Just me? Okay, shh.

-So I’ve set a yearly reading goal every year for as long as I can remember and whilst it’s great encouragement, it’s more recently become a burden to me. If you’re picking up 200 page or under books so that you can hit a reading goal, it’s time for the goal to go, babe. Give me Anna Karenina or give me death.

-My workplace offers the ability to build flexi and take flexi days off. It’s amazing and I’ll never not be grateful for it. I’ve absolutely got my money’s worth. Flexi has given me more holidays than I couldn’t dreamed of. But at what cost? My workdays were becoming long, sad and unsustainable. So I’ve taken a step back. Focussing more on the occasional early finish. Working til when I want, not when I’ve scheduled I need to to hit my flexi goals.

Just a couple of little examples for you. But I can’t even tell you how much they’re given me since January. They’ve given me rest. And I can’t see me going back.

But enough about me. What are your new year’s resolutions and how are they going? Did they fall by the wayside February 1st? Two weeks into Jan? Jan 1st when you ordered that big, delicious hangover takeout? Haha. It’s okay. We’ve all been there. But I think March is actually a great time to take stock, reassess and move forward. So realllllly what I’m saying is you should be thanking me for taking so long to write this! Ohmigosh, you’re so welcome.

Okay, no even I’m sick of me now.

But glad I checked in. I’ve missed you. I hope you’re hanging in there. Will you see me again this sun orbit? Dude, we don’t make promises here.

Have a fanfuckingtastic twentytwentytwo, friend.

Peace x

Respirate – Pinegrove

March 10, 2022

2022, amwriting, blogger, goals, life, newyearnewme, newyears, resolutions, selfcare, selflove, twentytwentytwo, writersofig
Having a bad day

Oh hi! Did I say I’d be back last Friday? Err. This Wednesday is the same thing, right? Forgive me. I have no excuses.

This past Monday, I turned 27. I know. I’ve joined the club. But let’s hope I don’t actually join the club.. I’d like to see 28 please and thank you.

And I had a lovely day. I received some kind messages, thoughtful gifts and I felt wrapped in love by the people I love. I find birthdays a weird one, I like other people’s but not really my own. But, regardless, I actually really enjoyed this one. It was simple but perfect.

So I wake up yesterday, Tuesday, and I just spiral. About everything. And about nothing. Why? Beats me. Dude, if I knew how my brain worked (or your brain for that matter) then we’d probably be much more stable humans. (Making assumptions there, you might be a stable human, pssh, stop showing off.) But anyway, it was a shit one, tbh. Just could not shake it. Couldn’t focus on anything all day. Was just in a funk. Which felt endless. Sometimes I feel like a machine that’s ran out of battery and is just sat there staring forwards waiting to be plugged back in. Numb. Is that too much? I think actually being off work this week just didn’t help either (haha said nobody ever), cos I had nothing but time to just sit and think and unravel.

But you know what? That’s totally okay.

See you have to feel your feelings as you have them. Biggest hypocrite saying that, because I often bury emotions and pretend they don’t exist. But like, I definitely wouldn’t advise it! And if I can help you by making my own mistakes and learning from them then I’d like to share my experience. I’d like to help you get through a bad day. Cos we all have them. So I’d say the first thing: stop for a sec and just acknowledge that you’re having a shocking day. Just breathe for a minute. Like close your eyes and take deep breathes. Tell yourself that you’re going to be okay. Because you are. It probably won’t feel like it in the moment and it’ll probably be the last thing on your mind. You’re frustrated. You’re sad. You’re empty. But try and say those words out loud: You. Will. Be. Okay.

And then there’s no one-size-fits-all here. Maybe a little cry will help. Maybe a little journaling will help you physically work through what’s going on. Maybe you need to scrape that hair up, get those workout clothes on and go for a run. Maybe you need to go and take a nap. All of these are good options. But we’re trying to drag ourselves back to ourselves. Like we’re trying to find some balance, right? So I don’t mean ignore the feelings, but I mean do something that’s going to let you get to the other side, today that might be actually addressing some thoughts you’ve been having, it might just be that you want to cheer yourself up. Personally, yesterday I ate a delicious Oreo cupcake that my brother and his girlfriend had baked me and I watched Legally Blonde. Because, honestly, there’s not a problem in the world that can’t be eased with some Elle Woods. At least, I haven’t found one yet!

That made me feel a lot better. I also journaled a little. I also think, if you can, speaking to someone can just be the best medicine. I tapped my fingers together for hours yesterday waiting for my boyfriend to come home. But then just getting to talk things through felt like a huge relief. It put things in perspective. And I felt my mood picking up massively. And you know what? I woke up today feeling renewed and refreshed. (It won’t always happen that way. It might take days, weeks, fucking years. But stick with it. Because the world needs you here.) Any explanation why today is any different than yesterday? Absolutely none. But it is different. Because every single day of your life will be different.

And isn’t that kinda magic?

So we kinda snuck a bit of a Self-Care Friday into a Wednesday there. Cheeky. But like, we don’t rigidly follow schedules here. Or follow them at all.. Either way, I hope your Monday was good. I hope your Tuesday was great. I hope you’re having a boss Wednesday. And will have a fucking fantastic Thursday. And if you’re not, that’s okay too. You will be okay. You’re not alone. Ever. So reach out, to someone, anyone. My DMs are not often monitored (as my friends know, heyyyo sorry!) but they’re always open if you need them.

Take care of yourselves out there.

Peace x

Old Friends – Pinegrove

October 21, 2020

amwriting, blogger, havingabadday, lifestyleblogger, lookafteryourself, mentalhealth, selfcare, selflove, takecare
Some midweek ramblings

So my blog schedule (I know, I’m hilarious. Can we even call this a blog at this point?) dictates that Wednesday’s posts are themed ‘miscellaneous’. Basically a free-for-all, if you will. I’ll let you in on a secret, I have this list of post ideas on my phone that I’ve been adding to for years. The funny thing? I never write anything from it. Why? Who bloody knows. But hey, at least I attempt to make this a real blog. I have good intentions, I promise! Anyway, I wanna try and start writing some of them for you cos like, I obviously think they’re somewhat interesting haha. I mean some of them are completely out of date. For example, I have one that just says ‘ode to 2016’. It was gonna be this silly ‘fuck you’ to 2016 (it was gonna be a poem, it was this whole thing I was envisioning, Keatsesque you feel me?) cos, whilst I graduated that year, I kinda felt like collectively it was a pretty shocking year, cough Brexit cough. Cough Trump cough. Like, when a year starts with the deaths of David Bowie and Alan Rickman in the first two weeks, you really don’t see it being a good one. But then it gets worse somehow. Immeasurably. Do you remember when that’s as bad as we thought it could possibly get? LOL. Well the years have just gotten progressively worse haven’t they? 2017 was the worst year of my life. Then 2018 was the worst year of the world’s life. Then 2019 was the worst year of the world’s life. Then 2020.. Er. Don’t even know how to articulate that one. Do we even want 2021 at this point? Genuinely asking. But anyway, that’s how long I’ve been writing these ideas down! What can I tell you, if procrastination was a career, then christ, I’d have a much better career than I do now. A few others: ‘this is us pilot review’ (I’m pretty sure this is on like season 4/5 now? I’m still comfortably in mid-season 1); ‘lessons I learnt from hermoine granger’ (Yikes! How timely, that one’s been binned, we don’t support terfs here); ‘red lentil pasty recipe’ (Wish I’d written that one down cos I remember it being good and that’s about it); ‘100 poem project’ (HAHAHAHAHA is all I have to say about that one tbh. I love the unsubstantiated confidence that old me had for myself. Can’t write a blog post in eight months, but 100 poems will be no problem). But you know, there’s a lot on there that still looks fun and I’m excited to write them for you.

Anyway, I was going to actually pick something off the list to write about today but it seems I’ve just written a bunch of other shite instead. Baby steps, people. Shall we see if I can make it back here on Friday for Self-Care Fridays? Wouldn’t that be a novelty. Fingers Crossed!

Peace and love.

Disappear – Dear Evan Hansen Soundtrack

October 14, 2020

amwriting, blogger, blogpostideas, futureposts, life, ramblings
Nostalgic for a time that hasn’t been

Let’s resurrect this blog, shall we?

If you’ve forgotten who I am, that’s okay. Cos I have too. This year has been… This year has been. Right? Let’s leave it at that. We all know what we’re doing here. Though if I’m honest, it wasn’t a world pandemic (take a shot) that ceased my writing as it’s clear I’d fucked this blog off in January. I don’t know what it is. I love writing. With every fibre of my being. I feel alive when I write. Yet I don’t write every day. Certainly not here, but also not to myself via my journal. I don’t always feel the need to, or feel I have anything to say. Which is okay. You don’t need to bash out three thousand words of a novel every day to be a writer. You don’t need to post a new poem to Instagram every other day to be a writer. You don’t need to write for three years to be a writer. It should be fun. There shouldn’t be pressure. So it’s okay if you haven’t written in a while. I’m telling you this but I’m telling myself too.

Sometimes things happen that are a shock to the system. We feel lost or baffled or sad or elated or fucking fantastic. The feeling doesn’t matter. What matters is that sometimes you just need a second to process it. And I mean like in your brain. Some writers process everything by actually writing it down. But there’s no one size fits all here. If you journal when you’re sad but let things slide when you’re having great day after great day, then that’s excellent. Go and enjoy the right now. If you ignore the bad because you don’t want to ever look back on it, but like to blog the happiest moments of your life, that’s boss, go do that! Just do what you need to do. The words will be there when you need them. Respect them. Don’t force them when they’re trying to rest.

And maybe you’re sat there thinking, Sarah, please, I write every single damn day. Five thousand words for my novel, an insta poem, morning and night journaling and oh, I then usually have fuel to write ten blogs posts a week too. Well, friend, that’s perfect. You too are valid here. Life is not a contest. But you should also feel pride when you accomplish personal goals. I envy you, that you have so many words up there in your mind. Honestly, sometimes I’d love that for myself!

So what are we doing here today? Dude, I don’t know. I haven’t written anything outside of a journal for like ten months. I don’t know how it works. I guess part of me wanted to check in. How are you doing? I’ve been wanting to check in but a lot has been happening this year, covid (take a shot) being just the tip of the fucking iceberg. And I want my words to be authentic and genuine. I don’t want them to appear reactionary. And I fucking certainly didn’t want to be another voice in the shout to make a loaf of fucking sourdough (take a shot). No diss if you made sourdough during lockdown (take a shot). Good for you, looks like a lot of work but seems to have delicious results. Personally, I just fell head first into reading. (I’ll update you guys on my yearly goal at some point but let’s just say we’re doing unbelievably well, don’t jinx me.) I’ve read and I’ve read and I’ve read, books that is. I’ve been trying to avoid news as much as possible because no good can come from it. (I’m aware that’s a very privileged thing to say. But honestly, the news is overwhelming even pre-2020 (take a shot). Just be kind to yourself and know what you can handle.)

But yeah, I wanted to see how you were. How are you? Has anyone asked you that recently? More importantly, have you asked yourself that recently? Have you told someone you love them recently? Have you told yourself? Have you drank water today? Have you taken time to do something rejuvenating? Have you moved your body? Have you eaten a celery stick? No? Thank god, don’t. Have you eaten something comforting and nutritious? Have you eaten a donut? Have you smiled? Have you decided you don’t want to smile and therefore not let anyone change your mind (fuck the patriarchy)? Have you spoken out loud today? Even to yourself. Have you gotten away from your desk and danced around? If you spend the majority of the day on your feet, have you sat down and rested your weary body? Have you worn your goddamn mask? Have you had a coffee? Have you admired the beautiful autumn leaves? Have you had a staring contest with the sun to express your annoyance that it doesn’t allow an autumnal climate in your area? Are you happy? Do you know that if you’re not happy you won’t always feel this way? Say it to yourself right now. Out loud. I don’t care where you are. Whisper it. Have you had enough sleep? Me neither. But one day we’re gonna have to learn to survive without five coffees. Have you blasted a good song today? (My brother sent me a song a couple of months ago and I’m now obsessed with the album it’s from. It’s called VHS by CASTLEBEAT.) Have you showered today? Have you brushed your teeth? Have you asked yourself how you are recently? Did I already say that? Oh right, that’s cos it’s an important one.

These are the questions that have been floating around in my head the last few long long (take a shot) months.

I know the end does not seem to be in sight right now. And if anything, it’s looking worse than a couple of months ago (take a shot). And I won’t lie to you, that’s because it is. But. We’ll get through it. You’ll get through it. You’ll be happy again. You’ll smile. You’ll make daisy chains with your friends and dance around the office. I’m joking, you’ll never do that. But, we’ll one day get to feel that sweaty aroma of the commuter squished up against you on the train. You’ll get to shake hands with that person who just sneezed before they saw you. You’re get to minesweep a drink off the side of a bar from an unsuspecting patron (shut up, you know you’ve done it). You’ll get to open the door of a public toilet after hundreds of gremlins before you have opened it without washing their hands. This is the future we’re dreaming of.

Okay, yeah, it’s totally not. But it’s still funny. I was talking to my friend before and I mentioned how I felt nostalgic for a time that hadn’t happened yet. And I think that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling for months now. I just didn’t know how to articulate it. But that’s it. And it’s okay to feel that way. And it’s okay to dream of future holidays and cocktail nights with the girls and date nights with your partner eating endless salt and pepper tofu and taking your nan for lunch and getting a train to work without feeling physically anxious and dancing all night in a club. It’s okay to want that. And you’ll have it again. Don’t lose the faith. We’ve just gotta get through the right now together.

So I just wanted to say hi. And whatsup. And howdy. And sorry. And hang in there.

You should all be sufficiently drunk off those shots now so I’ll leave it there for today.

I’ve missed you.

Heart Still Beats – CASTLEBEAT

October 8, 2020

amwiting, blogger, checkingin, covid, hope, howareyou, nostalgia, nostalgic, selfcare, selflove
My No Buy Year: Rules and Exceptions

So I mentioned in my last post that I was undertaking a no buy year.

What the heck is a no buy?

Well! Simply, it’s whatever the heck you want it to be. Or, rather, it’s what you need it to be. The aim is to cut your mindless spending habits. The outcomes are numerous. It’s supposed to help you:

– save money

– decipher needs from wants

– declutter and minimalise

– spend more mindfully

– break your advertising brainwashing

I’m using it as a way to hit reset. I want to spend this year seeing how I feel when I spend less money. What do I need to be happy? That way, I can move forward into the rest of my life with good spending habits and the ability to stick to a budget (this is something that still escapes me). I think it’ll be challenging but I’m excited to see what happens!

So how does it work?

Typically, a lot of people use it to curb their material buying habits, ie. clothes, makeup, shit you’ve seen your favourite influencer use. Now, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been known to buy a thirty quid water bottle and purchase more books than I can possibly read. However, for me, I know material items is not really my problem area. I don’t really own many clothes, instead favouring a Marge Simpsonesque uniform. I own five of the same black t-shirts, a black hoodie, a couple of shirts and a pair of docs. And, I mean, that just works for me. But, if you’re someone who can’t get through the day without scrolling fashion websites, or can’t walk past a sale in H&M without going in, then this is going to be a great area for you to work on.

This doesn’t just go for clothes though. As I say, books is a big one for me. It could also be video games, anime figures, candles, kitchenware, homeware, tech. Like, it’s not about completely quitting your passions. It’s just about wondering whether we need every single thing we set our eyes on.

So when it’s not about material objects, what is it about?

Oh, where to even begin! It’s eating out, it’s eating takeout, it’s coffee, it’s the cinema, it’s gigs, it’s the theatre, it’s exhibitions, it’s lunch. And more than anything, it’s booze. We’re British, we love the pub. It’s not our fault! Haha.

But no. This is my trouble area for sure. ‘Activities’. But mainly, drinking to excess. And don’t get me wrong, I love doing that. I have some of my fondest and funniest memories from nights out or unexpected daytime pub crawls. And I have no intention of stopping them entirely. But I’m getting to a point where I look at my bank account and think, fuck, what have I got to show for it? Good times, yes. But a house? Savings? Trips to California? Nope! And I’d like those things. So that’s my main intention for my own year.

But you’ve just got to find your own.

Traditionally, some people will take the ‘no buy’ idea at face value. They pay bills and buy groceries but aside from that, absolutely nothing is purchased. And I totally respect that. I couldn’t do it. However, I’m not doing my no buy to punish myself. I’m doing it to learn how to be more responsible with money. To be minimal. To focus more on relationships and relaxation than expensive tech and bottomless pints. And that’s okay too.

Some people will probably tell you that you’re doing it wrong. You are not doing it wrong. Because there are no rules. It is not a contest. It is a self-development project. So set yourself some rules to stick to but also list your exceptions. Write them down and then cement them. Having clear rules will help you each time you go to take your card out of your purse. Having clear exceptions will also help you stick to your ultimate goals whilst having fun. If we didn’t have them, our desperate selves would find a loophole and that’s just not what we want.

I think the overarching idea is to have fun. It’s not extreme to take control of your finances and consumerism. It’s actually quite responsible. But with this challenge comes the chance to have fun where you never would have looked for it before. By eating out once a month, you’re not telling your friends you hate them. Simply find ways to hang out with people that are free. Go to the park, go to a free museum, go for a hike. There’s so much out there waiting to be discovered.

I’m really excited about this year. And whether you decide to embark on your own no buy (or low buy, less intense version) or not, I’ll keep you posted on my journey. And maybe you’ll start to think a little more mindfully in your own spending habits!

My No Buy Rules + Exceptions

– No books

– No physical objects

– Replacements/repairs are fine (deodorant, jeans, think one in one out)

– Gifts are fine, so are birthdays (if someone invites me to celebrate their birthday I’ll say yes)

– No new subscriptions but existing are fine

– Things for education/fitness are okay (gym membership, driving lessons etc.)

– Things for the wedding are fine (my sister’s wedding is due to be the event of the year!)

– One day in Dublin (I made a pact with my mum that I’d go there every year of my life)

– One trip each quarter (these will have spending limits. Glastonbury, Scotland..)

– Eat out with Danny once a month

– Eat/drink out once a month with friends

– Six visits to friends outside of Liverpool

– Twelve cinema trips

– Twelve theatre/gig trips

– £15 for food/drink with each theatre/gig trip

– £20 monthly in house budget (beers, ice cream, treats and such)

– A couple of extra Christmas outings is okay

And there you have it! Those are my rules. I don’t know if people think that’s a lot of trips out or barely any. For me, that’s a lot less than I’ve gone out this past year so for me it’ll be challenging to stick to! As I say, you can choose to do your no buy however you like. Some might cut everything but essentials. Others might just do physical objects. Some might do a mix like me. Anything goes, kids. You should know this on my blog by now! Also remember, you can start a no buy whenever you want, it doesn’t have to be January. You also don’t have to do a year. You could do a month or even a week!

Let me know what you get up to!

Say Anything – Girl In Red

January 7, 2020

2020, adventure, amwriting, blogger, challenge, life, minimalism, newyear, newyear’sresolutions, nobuy, nobuychallenge, nobuyrules, selfcare, twentytwenty, writersofig
twentytwenty

So I haven’t written a blog post in a long time but let’s just skip over that! I’ve kinda made these beginning of the year posts a tradition so I didn’t want to miss it.

I really like resolutions. I know a lot of people don’t. But I enjoy setting intentions for myself. Goals. Challenges. Mantras. I like to spend the last couple of days of the year kind of just collecting my thoughts and ruminating on what I want for myself going forward.

And I’m feeling good about twentytwenty. I know right, how? This year, and quite frankly, the three years before that, have been pretty shocking. For all of us. But regardless, I think it’s important to stay hopeful, even when the world is exploding around you. Especially then. Whether it’s things in your personal life, work life, or the greater world around you, you’ve just got to keep fighting. Wake up each day, be grateful to be alive, and then get to work. And believe me, I know it’s not always that easy. But you’ve just got to keep fighting. Don’t let the bastards grind you down, and all that.

So I’m moving into twentytwenty hopeful.

I think my word for the year is simplicity. Because there’s just so much noise and bullshit in the world that I just need to keep my mind clear. So my goals are super simple this year. When I think about my life it always comes back to three words: writing, saving and health. So that’s what I’m going to work on. How? Lots of ways. But my main plans are:

Writing – Last year during nanowrimo I managed to write 50,000 words towards a novel. I KNOW! Still can’t believe it. Also yes, I’m writing a novel now, cos why not. Starting January, after a month break, I’m going to begin organising my work by editing, structuring and then writing to fill the gaps. I’m also attempting to read 100 books, because I’m an idiot but I also love an unachievable challenge. Also, I’m in the midst of a project called Sarah to Zero where I try to minimise my owned unread books to well, zero. We’ll see how that goes.

Saving – I’m continuing to fuel as much money as humanly possible into my house isa. I’m also undertaking a no buy year! Yes, I have jumped on the bandwagon and I’m now consumed by the idea. More on this some other time. The basics are you just stop buying things. Maybe learn a bit of mindfulness along the way.

Health – I’ve recently joined a gym which I hope to work into my daily routine. I’m also five months into a yoga for 365 days journey, loving it so far. I’ve also been experimenting with intermittent fasting for a couple of months so I’m going to keep working at it until I find a system that works excellently for me.

And there you have it. I just want to press pause more in twentytwenty. I had so much fun in twentynineteen but I feel like I was always moving. I want to relax this year, lie in bed and read, journal, meditate, cook, do yoga, go for walks, and just hang out with Danny. So that’s what I’m going to do. Hopefully you’ll see me around here more too.

What are your twentytwenty plans?

Vulture, Vulture – Of Monsters And Men

January 1, 2020

2020, adventure, amwriting, blogger, books, life, newyear, newyear’sresolutions, resolutions, selfcare, selflove, writersofig
Tattoo Origins: Create Explore Learn

It turns out I haven’t done a single tattoo origins post this year. So it goes.

Today’s origin story is a little quick one because the meaning behind it is important but not complicated.

This tattoo, of all my seven, is unique in the sense that it is the only one without words.

Years ago now, I was looking at people’s tattoos online. Does anyone else do this? I find it has the ability to black hole me, not dissimilar to how YouTube or Instagram can. But anyway, I saw a couple of times these little triangular glyphs and thought they were cute. I wondered if they meant anything or were just geometric artwork. Then I stumbled across a table that had all these glyphs written out with their meanings. They’re things like connect, express and challenge. I liked them. They’re so simple yet would have a private meaning to myself. I’m pretty into coded tattoos, don’t know if you’ve noticed!

I decided I needed them. I looked at all the glyphs but three words instantly stuck out to me and I knew exactly the order I’d get.

So why these words?

Create: I love to write but I often forget this fact. This triangle reminds me to always keep finding words. In my journal, for my blog, or maybe one day for something bigger. Enjoy the magic of building and curating something that’s mine. And do it to move people. In some way.

Explore: Because I love to travel. Who doesn’t? Whenever I feel in a rut or just a little unfulfilled, this triangle reminds me that’s okay. I just need to alter my mindset. And maybe my location. Whenever I go to a new city I search for an Irish pub, a bookshop and a vegan place. It makes each city my own. When I go to the countryside, or the mountains, or the ocean, I take a minute to close my eyes and breathe. To remember I’m alive.

Learn: We are never done learning. And I think people are naïve to say the opposite. Why would you ever want to stop discovering new information? I find the world utterly fascinating. I want to know it’s secrets. But you won’t learn them until you ask. So this triangle reminds me to read, to listen, to build, to try, to have humility. To have patience. And to have persistence. It also reminds me to be empathetic. To be an ally. And to love above all else.

And there you have it.

Wild Roses – Of Monsters And Men

September 5, 2019

adventure, amwriting, blogger, create, explore, learn, life, origin, tattoo, tattoomeaning, tattooorigin, writersofig