So I quit my job yesterday and I’m still trying to decide if it was the best decision of my life or the worst. When asked what my greatest weakness was recently by a loved one, I discovered it was that I overthink. I thought this was an interesting assessment as this is not something I thought of myself. In ways, I thought I was actually quite spontaneous; I lived in America for a year, I sleep on a mattress and no bed, I have arms full of tattoos. And then I realised. None of these things were spontaneous. They were carefully planned. Yes, they were definitely adventures but they didn’t come from nowhere. I know what I have to work with financially, so I make sure I get the most I can. I’m not into five star hotels, I’m into life. But that doesn’t mean it happens on a limb. Last week I had this great urge to reevaluate my life. I looked at what I currently have and what I want. You guys seemed to like my post Dare to Change and I think that’s because it speaks to a lot of things we all dream of and a lot of things we all want. And I figured I can’t just write this, I need to live it. And then I thought, shit, I do overthink things. This was never supposed to be more than a summer thing for me, but you get offered full-time and you’re a procrastinator and you get comfortable. And that’s okay, for a time. It’s okay to have a job that’s just for the money, if you know it’s getting you somewhere you want to go. And that’s what I’ve done. I have some savings and I know what I want next. So I just realised the thing that’s stopping me from getting what I want is this job. And me. And I’m not a fucking idiot. I know quitting your job with no idea where your next pay check is coming from is completely unreasonable for some. I’ve had a job since I was twelve and I just know this opportunity is never going to come again. I live in my parents home and the question of rent is laughed at. I’m fucking grateful. But I feel like I just need to breathe. Decide what I want next then do it. I’ve met some amazing people at my job, people I hope I’ll know for a long time. But it can’t be about them, it has to be about me. So I quit. I’m scared. I’m excited. I feel liberated. And I feel ready. I need to stop talking about my life and live it instead. I can’t talk about change if I don’t do it myself. So last Tuesday I decided to quit my job and last Wednesday I quit. Let’s see what happens next.
Lewis Watson – sink or swim